“I was super young, my career was put on the line about it, and I felt like I had no choice but to do it,” Hilson tells PEOPLE

Keri Hilson never wanted to diss Beyoncé.

Nearly 20 years after a remix of Hilson’s “Turnin’ Me On” featuring Lil Wayne leaked online with lyrics believed to be taking aim at Beyoncé, 43, the Grammy-nominated R&B singer, 42, is setting the record straight on how the infamous verse came to be.

At the time, Hilson was at the top of her game with multiple hits under her belt, including “Turnin’ Me On.” Around when the song hit the top 15 on the Billboard Hot 100 in early 2009, the remix surfaced online featuring lyrics about another star needing to “move it to the left” — seemingly a reference to Beyoncé’s “Irreplaceable.”

Fans quickly took sides, and the verse has followed Hilson ever since. Now, she’s ready to clear the air. While she admits the lyrics “probably were” about Beyoncé, “I didn’t write them,” she tells PEOPLE. “I was forced to sing them.”

Produced by Polow da Don and Danja, the remix was recorded shortly after Hilson, then in her mid-20s, wrapped a concert tour. The longtime songwriter recalls showing up to the studio ready to write a new verse for “Turnin’ Me On.” However, she says, “I get there, and one had been written for me already.”

Hilson recalls someone on the creative team wanting to “garner attention” with the remix. “It didn’t matter if that was negative or positive, and calls were made that twisted my arm into doing something that I never wanted to do,” she explains. “I never wanted to record it. I definitely never wanted it to come out.”

Keri Hilson in May 2024.Prince Williams/WireImage

And the lyrics certainly don’t represent how she feels about Beyoncé. “I’ve been a fan of hers for a very long time,” says Hilson. “They’re not my words, but I ate it, and I protected people, and I paid for it.”

After the remix surfaced online, fans began pitting the two women against one another, with many claiming the diss caused Hilson’s career to decline — despite her scoring several other hits afterward, including “Knock You Down” and “Pretty Girl Rock.”

Until recently, Hilson chose to stay relatively quiet on the topic out of fear. “I probably could have cleaned it up, but I didn’t want to make my career even more difficult,” she admits. “I wanted it to go away.”

However, she’s learned a lot in the years since her last album, No Boys Allowed, was released in 2010. “I can give myself grace,” says the artist. “I was young, I felt these people had my career in their hands, and one phone call could have ended it. That was the fear that was presented to me.”

To this day, Hilson isn’t exactly sure how Beyoncé felt about the whole ordeal. They’ve since met one another in person and “introduced ourselves,” but she says they “never got a chance to talk.”

“I’ve always wondered what she was told about that, if she was told the truth,” she notes, adding that she “would love the opportunity” to sit down and discuss the matter with the “Break My Soul” performer. “I don’t know if it will ever happen, but it’s something I’ve dreamt about.”

Earlier this week, Hilson spoke about the “Turnin’ Me On” remix on The Breakfast Club, which prompted songwriter Ester Dean to respond on Instagram, as fans have long speculated she wrote the lyrics.

“I submitted a lot of verses for that remix — one got picked, and it was co-written with Keri. Looking back, it was childish and didn’t age well. I see how it hurt people, especially women, and I take full accountability,” she said. [In a comment, Hilson claimed she only “re-wrote three lines” of the verse and not the lines taking shots at any of her peers.]

Dean added, “I’ve worked with and supported many women since, but that doesn’t erase the moment. I’m sorry for my part in it. Growth is real, and so is this apology.”

Following quite a bit of time away from music, Hilson is now preparing to release her new album, We Need to Talk on April 18. The nine-track body of work is the first in a series of three projects to come, focused on love, drama and redemption, respectively.

“I’ve been gone for so long. I felt like I want to give enough to satiate my fans,” she says of the upcoming music. “It’s also a parallel to my career — loving music, encountering drama and feeling redeemed finally. Finding reconciliation within and without, outside and inside.”